It is said that time heals all wounds.
I beg to differ.
In fact, I want to challenge this statement.
It has been 40 years since my dad died. I think of him almost every day. My memories have kept him alive in my heart over the years. The nine-year old little girl inside of me who watched her dad ablaze from an accidental fire, desperately wants to hold on to the good memories.
The way he laughed. His engaging smile. The way he looked in his hats. My dad sure loved his fedoras.
I miss my dad and still hold a great love for him in my heart. Over the years, I have been able to move away from the grip of grief but it hasn’t been just about the passing of time.
Time alone does not heal
Time does not heal the pain of a young mother who has had a miscarriage. Whose heart aches to hold her baby in her arms, all the while trying to cope with the feelings of loss or even anger.
Time does not heal the guilt of a teen girl who saw abortion as her only “way out.” Or the feelings of regret that might follow her actions.
It certainly does not heal the wounded heart of the widow whose husband did not return home from combat. A wife who now grapples with the reality of a devastating loss, not only to her but also her young children.
And of course, time does not heal the wounds brought on by a broken relationship, especially if it throws you into the arms of a separation or worst yet, a divorce.
Some of our experiences in this life’s journey are extremely painful. Sometimes the pain from these wounds are too excruciating for us to face so we bury them deep inside. But because our wounds are not really healed, with certain triggers, they are brought back to the surface and we are forced to live the experience all over again.
Healing requires choice
“Heal me, Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise.” Jeremiah 17:14
In and of itself, time alone does not heal these wounds.
You see, time allows the initial impact of pain or shock to fade. It allows us to learn ways to adapt to our new reality or cope with our loss.
But, in order for us to heal in a healthy way, we have to choose to actually engage in the healing process. A healing that encompasses not just our heart, but our soul and our spirit as well.
This kind of healing requires choice and, yes….time.
More importantly though, this kind of healing comes only through Christ.
“He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3
Depending on the experience or circumstance, healing can come through seeking or offering forgiveness or through surrender and release. These are all about choice. Seeking, offering, surrender and release. God never takes our free will from us. Even in our moments of greatest despair, He allows us the freedom to choose to be healed. In Jeremiah 33:3 he says to us “Call to me and I will answer you..” and in Matthew 11:28-30 he beckons us
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
The beautiful gift of healing
Jesus literally opens the door of invitation as he waits for us to recognize our need of him and turn to him for healing. And as we come in surrender and obedience, he takes us through the process of healing our wounds through his love and grace.
This healing is afforded to us through the precious blood of Jesus. He, who, can relate to our hurts because he knows what is it to experience pain and suffering. May we be encouraged that there are no pain too deep and no hurt too big from which God cannot heal us.
What a sweet gift from heaven it is when we choose to release to our Heavenly Father, the hurts, the anger, the guilt, the shame, the pain and the brokenness. When we choose to allow him to heal our hearts and bring about something new in our lives.
“O taste and see that the Lord is good; How blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him.” Psalm 34:8
All this been said, looking again at the phrase, “time heals all wounds” I believe there is a bit of truth to this statement. But to give the credit to time alone, steals the glory from God and minimizes who he is and what he has done and can do for us.
You see, it is God who heals our wounds, through a process that takes…?
You got it! Time!!
God has certainly healed my heart from the grief of losing my dad so tragically. When I now think of him, it is no longer through the pain but through the good memories I will forever hold dear to my heart. God can heal your wounds too, if you let him. And he can also “make all things work together for good to them that love” him.
So come on dear friends, let us journey together by faith today. God bless you!