It was going to be a beautiful spring day.
I could tell by the golden rays playing peek-a-boo through the tiny crack in my drapes.
I noticed it but I wasn’t feeling it.
Lying there I was tempted to pull the sheets over my head and steal another hour tucked under the covers but I resisted the temptation and instead, half-heartedly threw my legs over the side of the bed.
To be honest with you, despite the brightness of the morning, I was feeling rather drab. My spirit was weary even though the night had been restful. And neither the warm kiss of the sun through the bathroom window or the sweet song of the red breasted robin in our pear tree could stir my soul to joy.
There was nothing sudden about this weariness in my spirit. It had slowly crept in over the last few months, the residual effect of getting lost in every day responsibilities and not keeping my eyes and heart focused on God.
Distracted by the cares and frustrations of life, I had allowed myself to become unintentionally vulnerable, thus, blind-sided by the enemy of my soul. Those unsuspecting moments of his intrusion that not only stole my joy but also hijacked my passionate pursuit for the things of God that were so precious to my heart.
More precisely, my quiet, intimate moments with Him and my writing. Two of the things, outside of my family, that gave my life meaningful purpose.
I had become stagnant.
Standing there looking at my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I felt parched as if I had been walking through a desert under the midday sun. I knew this spiritual drought needed to come to an end. It had gone on for far too long. I swallowed hard and the sudden tears burned the back of my eyes before cascading silently down my cheeks.
“Have mercy on me, Lord, for I am faint…Turn and deliver me, save me because of your unfailing love.” Psalm 6:2&4
As I stood there offering my heart to God, I was suddenly reminded of a song I use to sing in youth group.
As the deer panteth for the water so my soul longeth after Thee. You alone are my heart’s desire and I long to worship Thee.
Yes I did long to worship Him.
Truly worship Him.
With all of me.
Delesslyn A. Kennebrew from Christianity Today wrote
“True worship is defined by the priority we place on who God is in our lives and where God is on our list of priorities. True worship is a matter of the heart expressed through a lifestyle of holiness.”
I discovered I didn’t just want but needed God to be top priority in my daily life. No matter what was going on in my life, good or bad, I had a hole in my heart that only He could fill.
So, right there in the middle of my bathroom floor, I found myself kneeling in His presence, in repentance, in surrender, in worship.
And He met me there!
It felt great to soak in His presence.
Why do I share this with you?
Because in this place of honesty and transparency stands an opportunity for restoration. For you and for me.
I believe at some point or other, we’ve all been where I was. Fatigued and burnt out by life, we’ve all allowed distractions, in varying degrees, to steal us from His presence and from our purpose. Those moments the enemy uses to undermine our faith and destroy our hopes and dreams.
Yet God in His infinite grace and mercy longs to draw us back to Him.
May we be like A. W. Tozer and pray..
“O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more…I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still.”
Come on, let us journey together by faith today. God bless you!